Mulder's Back From Australia
by Fictionnaire
Summary: Mulder has been away on holidays in Australia and he comes back... He still hasn't got Australia out of his system


_**Mulder's back from Aus**_

It felt like Scully hasn't seen Mulder since forever. He had taken vacation for a month in Australia, for whatever reason and was due back at work today. The worse thing was, that Mulder didn't send any emails that he had promised. So she had no idea on how he was doing or even if he was alright.

"Hey there Scully!" Mulder said, "Miss me." He ran up to her.

"You're back." She was trying to keep hold of all the papers, "Are you ok? You look wired."

"I'm fine. I didn't want to miss anything. I had some coffee, a couple of pixie sticks and 2 cans of soda drink today." Mulder was jumping up and down, "Do you want to hear about my trip… About all I saw and did in Australia. I watched Football over there."

"You need to settle down." Scully said, "They have football over here to."

"Not like this."

"Like what?" Scully asked.

Mulder used his hip and shoulder and knocked Scully to the ground and sent her papers flying everywhere.

"What are you doing?" Scully exclaimed.

"It was a fair bump… Play on!" He pretended to blow the whistle as he produced a football from God knows where, "And he runs down the corridor. Takes a couple of bounces and bam!" He kicked the ball forward and jumped up and down, "Goal! Six points to the team of Mulder."

Scully looked at the football. It definitely was different to the ones used in the NFL. Just then Mulder wrapped his arms around her and tackled her to the ground and she spilt her papers all over the floor once more.

"Mulder!" She screamed.

Right then, Skinner just happened to be walking by picked up the ball, "Mulder!?" Skinner said, "What are you doing? Give me the ball!"

"It was a clear tackle… Come on ref!" Mulder challenged, "Ball!"

"Mulder what's gotten into?" Skinner asked.

"A shitload of sugar baby." Mulder answered, "That reminds me I got a present for you." He pulled a plastic bag out of nowhere again, "I brought you some thongs!" Mulder yelled out at the top of his lungs… Everyone stopped since they heard thongs, "That's right! I brought AD Skinner a pair of thongs! You all want to see?"

By now a crowd had gathered around a red faced Skinner, "Mulder!" He said as Mulder pulled out a pair of flip-flops, "You got me some flip-flops?"

"In Australia they call them thongs." Mulder said, "They call things some strange things. Like they call girls sheilas." He explained, "And Skinner… If you ever get to Australia remember that Australian women don't like us talking about there asses." Mulder said, "Every time I mentioned fanny near them I got slapped."

Skinner looked at him quizzically, "Thanks for the present." And then went to leave.

"Sir, can I have my ball back?" Mulder asked.

Skinner threw the football to him and he caught it, "It's my free kick." Mulder said.

"What?" Skinner asked.

"You threw the ball." Mulder said.

"What?"

"Illegal disposal. My ball." Mulder said.

Scully and Mulder went to the basement, "How ya b'n doin mate?" Mulder asked Scully, "Ain't seen ya in ages Sheila."

"What?"

"Geeday." Mulder said.

"Shut up." Scully said.

"Crikey, me sheila's pissed at me. Pahaps this will cheer me mate up." Mulder pulled out a stuffed koala bear.

"It's so cute Mulder." Scully picked it up and looked at it.

"Squeeze the tummy." Mulder explained.

Scully did so and the music began to play from it.

_Tie me kangaroo down sport… Tie me kangaroo down  
__Tie me kangaroo down sport… Tie me kangaroo down_

Take me koala back, Jack,  
take me koala back.  
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,  
so take me koala back.  
Altogether now!

_Tie me kangaroo down sport… Tie me kangaroo down  
__Tie me kangaroo down sport… Tie me kangaroo down_

"The bear is so cute." Scully said, "But the singer sounds like he was stoned."

"That's an Australian legendary country singer." Mulder explained, "He was the Australian version of Johnny Cash… Minus the drugs."

"What else did you do there Mulder?" Scully asked.

"I went to Canberra." Mulder said, "You realize their politicians are just as bad as ours? Tell you what though… It was a culture shock to. Everything over there is small compare to us. But I need to go back to Australia. Just not enough time to see and do everything."


End file.
